You all remember of our previous articles where we were modestly speaking about good manners to use, on a daily basis and in all circumstances: By having a look at our last articles such as the art of conversation, the special dinner, or even the new trends, I can guarantee you gentlemen, that you have enough information provided here to not fail when your date will be more than happy to put you in front of a test. For many years, dating have been growing up and speaking about that, companies, magazines, and medias, got plenty of ideas to provide you the right solution to be successful. “Dating” this term, means to meet a candidate on a face-to-face for a few minutes/hours. This to end up by finding out if you might be able to give him another chance and see him again in a future. With “dating” we rapidly saw the “speed dating” coming up. Same aim, with shorter sessions where people will meet several candidates, one by one, at the same place, and in a row. We are getting into a period where we will get holidays, and where the weather will be sunny too. Gentlemen, here are some reminders to make your dating a “Very HEG” one.
1 – Candidate: and if it was her?
Nowadays many platforms available to search our candidate exist. Some people will use social networks like Facebook to make a selection regarding to photos and current profiles when those ones are public (Sir Mark Zuckenberg has certainly not planned this to be used that way) the next ones will prefer using many dating sites as a first introduction (watch out about fake profiles), and for the rest, They will love to attend speed dating for face-to-face interviews. Today, the first meeting is most of the time (too often) made via Internet. As an example, you just need to go in US to agree. One study revealed that more than a third of Americans have met their love via Internet.
MR AFROPOLITAN is this patient man, unpredictable, curious, and do not forget, with his mind as well cut as his suit. Facing the risk of disappointing many entrepreneurs, the alternative of using websites, going for speed dating, or doing research via social networks has no place here with us. Besides, let’s talk about that moment when we meet our “candidate”.
This is the moment where everything starts. Who didn’t have to deal with those few seconds where our eyes were freezing, where time stopped. Where we did find her at an Afterwork, a theatre, a lounge or even a gala. Yes MR AFROPOLITAN knows exactly where he likes to appear: He likes to go where he can contribute, make a positive impact, where he can stand up for his values, or even give back the love he has received. It can also be at a birthday party, and many other events to please his friends. As a good point, let’s notice that if our candidate is found in one of those places, which are familiar to us, it means that from now, we can highlight our first common point. This candidate… She has that presence who paralyses us, that smile who misleads us, and the gesture of a real woman of this world. She is a real source of inspiration. Do not worry gentlemen, needless to lose your balance, I repeat, we will be patient.
How would you act if it happens to you? Make a start of smiling with joy and go with determination to meet her? Or keep this self-control, and wait for the right time to go and introduce yourself? A good gentleman who respects himself will not forget to use his good manners. He will wait for the right time, if it occurs, and in any case, will not bother the lady if he discovers that she is having a fit of the giggles with her friends. Indeed, as you can see, she spends some quality time with her friends, and the good manners require that she can’t be bothered under any circumstances. And how about you doing the same thing with your friends? After all, you are here to have a good time too, aren’t you? Do not forget, one of the basis about having social relationships is communication, a woman will let you know if she likes you (and even if she doesn’t), and let me add that she will do that with class and reserve. In the best scenarios gentlemen, you have exchanged contacts after a short 5-10 minutes discussion about the Economic situation in an African country, or even about projects you have to invest in your community. And then you are going away leaving her the space which is hers. You were not due in her plan in case you’ve forgotten about it.
She fancies you and wants to keep exchanging with you. The first step is now successfully completed, but this is useless to rejoice ahead and start thinking about how you will introduce her to your relative. She has to be seen only, and I insist, only as your friend in a first place. As a courtesy, the next day you will get her feedback about the last evening you guys had at the same location, either by sending her an email, or even an SMS. You will use the contact she has left you and nothing else.
2 – May I take you out?
This is the time you were waiting for, the time when you will ask to take her out. Probably at a different place that from the gala, or even the afterwork. What has happened between when you guys first met, where you went there both of you on your own, and that momentous day? In your opinion, how much time elapsed between these two periods? One week? Two? A month? The rule requires us to wait for the right time. MR AFROPOLITAN is patient and do not try to go faster than he has to. By the way, be careful about not being too long before asking, otherwise she might ask what is wrong with you. Before dating her you will enjoy chatting with her via your mobile and laptop: Long hours on the phone, on Facebook, SMS, all medias will be used to find out what’s behind that lady, who maybe, who knows, will be there for the rest of your life. During this long process, you will obviously have kept a bit about you, because she will have all your attention and you’ll always be listening what she has to tell you.
As a clarification, you won’t t hesitate to answer all of her private questions if she asks you. A HEG has to be completely honest, and if you really want her, you have nothing to hide. No need to speak for a few hours about your job and your accomplishments, excepted if she wants you to. Sirs, you have to listen to her. “What are her plans, ambitions, values, expectations in life?” That list of questions can be longer. In other words, “what does she like? Who was she? What has she become, and what does she need to become that woman of the world who will be a source of inspiration for the next generation? As a reminder,“ a real gentleman cares more about himself than the others “, write it down.
To your delight, a sincere friendship will be gradually built between her and yourself during this time that could be seen as very long but which is such a short one at the same time. After all, you’re getting closer to each other before that famous first dating: Through this friendship, she feels understood, supported for what she is doing on a daily basis, she is honoured, encouraged, and advised to become someone better. These are only a sample of rules women need in their relationship (and they are right), whether friendship or love, to work for a long term.
Here is a golden rule, which will enable you to unmask the cheating: Patience. There is no rush. Gentlemen, playing the game over a long period is hard, be sure of the road you are taking or leave the ladies free pathway for the next one. Words speak but actions too. A man willing to be your lover will be patient, as long as patience will have to remain. In that way, things will be done naturally.
Well, here is the real day, the day when you jump off, where you asking to take her out. The likelihood of rejection is almost null because as you know it Sirs, a woman does not like wasting her time. She will tell you straight up that your daily SMS and discussions are not interesting anymore and she doesn’t want to hear from you again. Here we all agree that we can smell these things.
For this invitation for a dating, you will not use the traditional way, which is the SMS, or the phone call. Oh no! A HEG worthy of this name will be imaginative: supplied with your best pen, you will send her a card which will represent her personality, and at her workplace. A card, a simple one, and carefully sealed. Once she will receive it, she will immediately be answering you back by using the quickest way: The SMS (she will not wait for sharing her amazement, women are very spontaneous), she will be delighted to accept your invitation. And you will not hide to let her know that you are looking forward to seeing her.
3 – Modern dating
“MR AFROPOLITAN: The Highly Educated Gentlemen’s Lifestyle destination”. Speaking about “destination”, where will you bring her for this first dating? You know her enough to say that she is above all your friend. Obviously you know about what will make HER happy through the comments of parties she has already enjoyed, and all these elements, which ones she has made a joy of telling you the entire stories. As a young man who wants to become a perfect Highly Educated Gentleman, you have previously carefully followed the lessons received through our old publications. You will offer her an amazing dating, worthy of a HEG where the mistake, I hope, will not be committed.
Back to this famous card you have sent at her office, there will be mentioned on it the time, date, and dress code, but absolutely not the place of the meeting location, or even the topic of the evening, whether it is a restaurant or something else.
She will have two options to join you: Coming on her own (Not HEG at all), or will have accepted your proposal to send her a taxi at home (I count on you gentlemen to do your best and make that happen). You will ensure that the taxi is quite comfortable, clean, and fragrant. The driver has obviously received all your instructions and in the most accurate way: Things such as opening the door, and not saying a word but only those that make her feeling at ease inside the car, politeness obliges, and the following sentence: “Please put your seat belt on, you will find in the compartment situated on your right a gift bag, that is a present for you from Mister X. I wish you a good time during this journey. “ This gift bag will get a book inside. You have well understood, you know what she is passionate about, she enjoys reading, and as a good reader that you are too, you know her library and would have chosen her a book, a new one, which can improve her knowledge about one of the topics she loves so much. This is useless to remind you that you have read the big lines (better, the entire book) to be able to discuss about it together. She will be happy to share her passion with you as usual.
Gentlemen, what about your outfit for this memorable day, any idea? This one will logically depends on where you have decided to spend your time with her.
Many go for a restaurant, a cinema, and other romantic places that a lot of magazines suggest us to go to. Gentlemen, please go for a place that will make HER happy regarding to all she said to you about her hobbies, favorite places and everything: A basketball game, Disneyland, listen to her! Don’t choose the easiest way. With all the time you had taken chatting with her, you will have enough information to know exactly what she likes so obviously you will have made the right choice.
Nevertheless, in order to stay sharp for the occasion without being too much or not enough, as an advice, If I was you, I will go for a mismatched outfit: My choice will turn to a fitted checkered jacket, a white shirt with a plain pant or a pair of jeans, a pocket square (never without my pocket square!), and a pair of double-monk shoes to mark a slight touch of style without going into extravagance. With an outfit like this, gentlemen, you will be sure about making any mistake. A ride at Suit Supply might be considered.
And then she comes… You are looking at her like on the first day … Palpitations are numerous, and even more intense. Don’t forget to compliment your lady about her beautiful dress. As you already knew it, she will be flawless. Am I wrong? She will be safe with you, and you will be fully available for her. When I say “available”, you heard it well gentlemen, mobile phone and other tools / gadgets which ones could be a distraction have to be forgotten. This is your dating, she is only there for you, and you’re only there for her. She will be your voice, and you will be her ears. The first thing she will tell you is “thank you gentleman” because she has loved your gift. And then you will answer that you are happy to hear this modest gesture makes her happy (Obviously you know that more are coming up in a future and for ever because she deserves it)
After a few hours chatting, with the same intensity like when you were away from each other, you realise that she is exactly that woman you saw for the first time, the one for who you have been patient, and for who you have this impression of knowing her for ages.
As the result, this “dating” which seemed to be a test is actually a simple meeting between the two of you.
Remember gentlemen to ensure that she comes back home well. Take a taxi together, then take her in front of her own door, and did not leave until you see that the light is on and the door is well sealed.
In terms of giving her a kiss Sirs, forget about this “eventuality”. You will have to arm yourself with a bit of patience again.
La réponse d’une HEL ici (English version)